A Very Bjork Christmas
by richiesan
Summary: This is a Christmas special based off mine and my co-writer's story, Clementine's Ascension. Bjork invites the gang (The gang as of Ch21) out to a wonderful Christmas dinner...in Iceland! It seemed pretty concrete, but they meet unlikely foes, and eventually must survive Gryla and her Yule lads, before she eats them all. Will publish 1 act a day until act 4 (Not canon)
1. Act I

Christmas Special #2: A Very Björk Christmas Special

It was a snowy day in Wellington Ohio, and Christmas was just the around the corner. Clementine and Emilie Autumn had just finished setting up the Christmas tree inside their Tudor style home given to them by none other than Cathy Munsch. Wellington was beautiful this time of year, as long as they ignored the frozen dead bodies of the locals in the town.

"Wow, this tree looks great Em'!" Clementine said. They examined the tree in all its glory. Neither of them had seen a tree this iconic. The tree was actually no tree at all, but it was their classic crucified walker, that was so reminiscent that it seemed from another life.

"Another great Christmas is ahead of us." Emilie Autumn smiled. "I'm sure it'll be one that we never forget." Emilie began to hang up the lights on the walker, who tried to bite at her when she wrapped the lights around its body. "Pesky thing!" Emilie sneered. "Trying to bite me huh? Better behave, or Krampus will get you! Like I said, not outside of the bedroom!" It seemed as if the walker stopped trying to bite her after that. He had sad look on his face too, scorned by his love.

"Woof woof!" Clem roared. Emilie lost focus from her walker-lover, and turned to Clementine. Clem sat on all 4's rattling at the door.  
"Calm down Clementine!" She pushed past the wolf-kin and looked through the crack in their door. It was still locked incase of another zombie attack (these things happened more often than they liked in Wellington.) It was just Mhail, Clem wasn't fond of him. Mhail The Mailman delivered his first stack of letters to the Clementine-Autumn-Kardashian-Sarah-Mike-Rebecca Residence. Emilie was surprised, he tried to avoid their house since they moved in. Something about being attacked by Clementine in an alleyway.

"What's that?" Clementine howled, she was confused, Emilie held a single letter and it did not look like a bill.

"Why… I don't know. Clementine gather the house, this letter is addressed to us all." She looked up with a coy smile. Clementine ran through the house on all fours to gather the gang.

Clem gathered the residents in the house, one by one. They sat around the dining room table, anxiously awaiting what was in the letter addressed to them.

"Well, what #is it?" Kim Kardashian asked.

"Yeah, open the letter Emilie." Rebecca said.

Emilie sat at the head of the table, and Clementine sat across from her at the other head. Her eyes shot to Kim and Rebecca, and she fired a glare.

"Shut your fatasses up" Emilie spat. "I am on maximum speed right now in opening this letter."

The wax seal shaped in what seemed like purple and yellow tangled spaghetti noodles. Emilie unfolded the authentic papyrus. It felt of a different world, and the ink was so elegant it looked nicer than a majestic gardens. The cursive was the same.

 _You've got a letter from Björk..._

 _Greetings my wonderful friends, you are cordially invited to an Icelandic Christmas supper on the 25th of December 20XX. We will celebrate the holiday together, as one family, united by fate._

 _When: 25th of December_

 _Attire: Formal_

 _Food: Good_

 _Weather: Nice_

Where: House #12 Reykjavik, Iceland

 **AND DON'T COME LATE!**

 _Fertility , björk_

"Fertility? What the hell is that?" Rebecca said. "Aren't I pregnant enough?" The frown on her face did not fade.

" _Björk…"_ Clementine whispered.

"Oh wait, there's a P.S. on the back."

 _P.S:_ **MIKE IS NOT INVITED**

"Well, I say we have to go. This seems like a totally safe and fine offer." Emilie said.

"Agreed." Clem said.

And that was just the way it was, and they waited for the 25th to come.

* * *

"Have you seen my red barrette?" Emilie shouted throughout the house. The date was December 25th, the day had finally arrived. It had felt like no time at all really; the house was dressing for their big trip.

Rebecca wobbled out of her doorway into the hallway. "I was using it to keep my babies from comin' out but if you need it" Emilie gladly retrieved it and turned to her left, a tall mirror. She had an elegant gown, it was a victorian styled casual dress, in greyscale. She was disrupted when Sarah and Clementine emerged from one of the bedrooms. Sarah was wearing a bold deep red velour sweatpants, matched with an equally pink sweatshirt.  
"Sarah it's a formal setting" Clementine frowned. She was wearing a ripped flannel and a plaid skirt, it was grass green and perfectly matched her 1980's sketchers. Clementine reached for her glasses and broke them on the ground. "Only noobs wear glasses on Christmas" She had broken Sarah's last pair.

#Kim yelled from her room, "Ready to go?" and stomped towards the group. She wore a dress in the classic vault boy colors.

"Yep! I think we all look formal enough" Emilie lead them out the door. Mike sat on the couch flipping through the channels. At least Family Guy was on.

"Bye…" Mike was wearing his underwear and a classic gold chain necklace. It was an original Claire's. The group had planned on swimming or perhaps sailing to Iceland for their dinner, unsure exactly.

Further on down the road, they saw Cathy in a sparkling black dress along with black gloves and clutch, getting into her limo. But she looked back at the group just before getting in.

"Well don't you guys look good!" Cathy said. "All I had was this 64-million dollar dress I found at forever 21. Got someplace to be?"

"Björk invited to us out to Christmas dinner." Clem said.

"Oh, you too? Why don't we carpool then?" Cathy said.

"Um, well, sure."

* * *

The group piled into the limo, and before they knew it they were off. Inside the limo there were soothing lights that oozed a radiant red. There was a line with drinks, and an icebox next to them. Clementine opened the cooler and it was filled with unlimited juice boxes as well. Jackpot. Cathy was living in royalty.

"So, how were you guys planning on getting to Iceland given the current state of the world?" Cathy asked.

"Oh, we were gonna walk!" Emilie laughed. However, Cathy frowned.

"All the way to Iceland?"

"Works every time!" Emilie said.

"Oh dear. Anyways, I'm quite surprised you're friends with my close business associate, Björk. I didn't think we lived in such a small world." Cathy said. Clem was busy fidgeting with the apple juice box that she had found and so rightfully deserved while Cathy talked.

"Neither did we, to be honest." Rebecca said. "Kinda makes me feel important, like one of those big business guys. Or girls."

The limo drove down the road. It was rather comfortable sitting in the back, especially with the bar on reserve like that. The driver signaled his hand upwards, and Cathy put down her drink.

"Oh, it's just about time everybody! Put your seatbelts on and fasten them!" Cathy fastened her seatbelt quickly. "Prepare for takeoff!"

Clementine threw her juice box down, and it exploded inside the limo and went all over everyone. Clementine raced to the seat belt handle, and buckled up. Everyone seemed to do the same without hesitating, with the exception of Rebecca.

"Wait, what?" Rebecca shouted.

"3...2...1...GO!" Cathy shouted.

Rebecca was reaching for the seat belt handle too when she flew from her seat onto the floor.

"Oh jesus hunnies! My pregnant stomach!" She held her stomach as the force of the limo-jet forced her into the floor. The limousine was going faster than any limousine they'd ridden during the apocalypse. Suddenly Rebecca launched to the right and then to the ground again as they all felt the limo take a sharp turn upwards.

Sarah was screaming, her little heart was afraid of Rebecca's giant arms swinging about the limo. Clementine yelled, "Cathy what kind of limo is this?!" All of their eyes were wide open as they were going such a great speed.

Cathy was was texting on her phone though, unphased by the mode of transportation. "This is what real money can buy you, this limousine will fly us straight to Iceland." And just as she finished those words she was smacked in the face by Rebecca's stomach.

"Sorry" She flopped to the ground again, slowly crawling towards her seat. The group felt very uneasy, they were truly commoners. Emilie managed the strength to shield her face with her hands. The g-force was too much for the others to move their arms around much. Rebecca was loose once again and so was Sarah's screaming. She crashed into the ceiling with a loud THUD. Her pregnant stomach fully indenting the wall, leaving a belly-button shaped hole and everything.

"I heard a crack"

Cathy unbuckled "That means we're here." The doorway opened and a rush of icy Icelandic air kissed their skin.

Emilie shuddered, "We are NOT wearing the appropriate clothing!"

Kim was shivering. "Oh my god! My lips are gonna #freeze off!" Luckily she brought gloves for her lips, and she put them on like she was a Mrs. Potatohead doll. "Never know when you're gonna need these!"

"Damn it, I wish I had brought mine that you knitted for me." Rebecca said.

"Let's get going, shall we?" Cathy said.

They all walked down a dirt road towards the row of all the houses in Iceland.

"Björk is in house #...12. Yes?" Emilie said, and Cathy nodded in approval. "Wow. That's the last one. There's only 12 houses in Iceland? What the bloody hell?" Her British accent said.

And so, the group walked their way down to the 12th house in Iceland. It was a rather large house, but was still a house to keep humble about.

Clementine walked up to the door and rang the doorbell. However, it did not ding. It just played one of Björk's songs instead. (The instrumental of Human Behavior)

They were quickly met with an old looking man on the other side of the door. Behind him was a lush, green christmas tree with red and white glass decorations. It looked even better than Clem's and Emilie's walker-on-a-cross.

"You must be the group of people from America! Welcome to Bjork's home." It was a warm sounding man with an Icelandic accent. He was on the older side, older than anyone in the group at least. "My name is Guomund. Björk honey! Your friends are here!"

Björk levitated down the stairs slowly at them. She had on a blue skin tight outfit with gems and had a massive orange wig on. She looked like the way she did in the Crystalline video.

"Hallo!" She said. "Merry Christmas everyone!" She took the coats of all her guests. "Please, follow me to the dining room." The group eagerly followed, thankful for the relief of warm air. They felt instantly comfortable, the place had such an earthy feel to it. Björk led them to a hallway with large double doors. The gang was anxious to see the dining room, as the hallway was huge. She opened the doors and warm red and green light blinded them instantly. Björk's decorating skills were so otherworldly it had temporarily blinded the group.

"I know that smell" A voice from the dining room declared. The haze cleared and Clementine was able to see again, but out of shock she couldn't speak. It was Iggy Azalea! She wore a santa outfit that covered her wolf features. Clem looked around to see more people she recognized. Bob, a… minion! And Trixie, The Trix Bunny! Clem felt as if she would faint. Trixie was translucent, a ghost. Surprisingly though, Bob was not.

"Rheeeeeee" Pepe sat at his own table, a bib barely covering his large body.

"I think we are all here! How merry!" Björk ushered them to their seats. Emilie looked around at the gang, they all were uneasy with the situation suddenly.

"How many more are coming?" Rebecca looked worried. She was already in a defensive position around Sarah, incase one of them lashed at her.

"Just 1 or 2… in Iceland it varies" She smiled as she took a seat at the head of the table. Iggy walked closer to the group, walking past Kim.

"Got some new friends huh?" Azaleas were known to make strange noises when threatened. She clicked her tongue like a bug chirping and locked eyes with Clementine. "I really missed you… Clementine" and with no more warning she lunged right at her.

Clementine was already in a battle position before Iggy had even spoke, but that didn't stop Bjork from freezing Iggy midair. "I said take a seat! It is Christmas and we do not fight here!" Björk stood up and wiggled her nose like on I Dream of Jeanie. All of their weapons ripped through their clothes and launched towards the ceiling. "No more weapons! No more fighting!" Even Emilie's hair was drained of color.

"As I said, we will be one family this year. If any of you fight I will explode all of your heads. Now take a seat and have a drink." Björk let everyone free of her unrelenting grip, and they sighed. "If you act naughty, Gryla will eat you!"

"Gryla?" Sarah questioned. She had been frozen in fear since they entered that dining room, and she was shy even before that.

"Oh yes, little one. Gryla is a monster that lives in the mountains here and eats the kids who are naughty on Christmas! Do you want that to happen to you? I think not!" She shouted.

"She's gonna eat us?" Sarah started crying in her spot.

"Sarah, It's okay. It's not real, it's just a story they tell each other to make kids behave." Clem reassured Sarah, who seemed to calm down a little.

"But how sure are you?" Björk smiled.

* * *

Clementine felt out of her element, and weirdly enough… human. It was as if she was a normal 11 year girl with no super powers. Instead of eating with her hands she was told to use forks, and for once… she listened. She was unable to before. Even Rebecca was slim Bjork had taken her pregnancy powers away! Like, she looked really good.

"We bring our first course" Bjork interrupted the silence. The twin doors behind Bjork opened and 3 waiters walked in, all very attractive and blonde. Icelandic probably. They brought 3 trays and spread it out throughout the table, lids still covered. Clementine was amazed at how beautiful the arrangement of foods they brought out was, they evenly spaced it and everything. The murmur at the table got louder, as the food smelled unworldly. "For our first dish, Hrjsahnmoskahe, the traditional Icelandic appetizer. The waiter leaned past clementine to uncover the lid in front of her. It looked like mushed potatoes with a large roast in the center. "Diced mouse and mayonnaise roast."

Clementine's face grew grim. Suddenly, like magic the food flew up from the main dish onto everyone's plates, at the wave of Bjork's finger. "I am not eating this!" Bob yelled in a posh accent, "get this off my plate, bloody hell" Bjork sighed and ignored him.

"Next off, Ynolvoakak2r" it flew onto their plates prematurely. Bjork continued, "Spam covered in rhinoceros beetle juice, it's not a traditional icelandic dish but I know you yankees love spam"

"It's good...I guess." Emilie said. She choked down a fork full of spam, and forced a smile as she chewed on its squishy texture. Bob was sitting right next to Emilie, and he was looking down at his plate, saying nothing. His singular monocle fell from his eye, he had a class of elegance since him and Emilie had last met. "You seem to be doing good…" Emilie said.

He didn't look up from his plate, even after that.

"Of course I am. It's been awhile since we met, got myself together." Bob's entire style of speaking had changed, he had risen from regular minion talk to a Liverpool dialect of english. Bob didn't take a bite, he started to play with his food.

"I miss you." Emilie said. The entire table was pretending they didn't hear what was going on, and even Trixie let out a small giggle.

"You better $hut your mouth, Trixie. I've #ended you once, and I'll end your fat ass again!" Kim shouted.

"I don't appreciate your tone with me, Kimberly. I'm dead because of you! I've stolen your Trix before, and I'll steal it again! It's that simple." Trixie said in a thick Jersey accent.

"Did anyone else try the Wadlkscemf?" Cathy pointed to the third and final platter, roasted squirrel with seasoned rocks marinated in boiled milk.

"It's okay, I guess." Clementine said.

"Well _I_ like it." Iggy smirked. She bit down on a rock and it shattered between her teeth. "It's got quite the crunch to it! Not hard to love it. It's a bit spicy after all, but it's nothing a little water can't fix!" Her thick aussie accent was all the table could hear, and she downed four gallons of water in her spot. "Ahh. Refreshing. A real wolf like me can do things like that." Clementine's face turned red. No one had challenged her wolf like nature in a long time.

"Leave my hun alone! She's more of a wolf than you'll ever be!" Rebecca threw her fork down.

"We can fight if you'd like, I can always use an extra meal." Iggy licked her paper thin lips and her fangs came out.

"That's enough." Bjork said. She flicked her wrist, and everyone's chairs fell over with them in it. "I should remind you that none of you have your powers at the moment, and you'll be feeling that rock in the morning, Iggy." Bjork smiled, it was now time for the traditional icelandic traditions. "Now I wish for you all to stand up, for this is our tradition." Clementine was a little worried, if their tradition was anything like the food. "Now let us all rotate to the seat to our left as we sing the song" Bjork reached out her hands. "Hold hands" Everyone looked around the room holding hands, unsure of what to do or what to sing. Suddenly, Bjork began and they all started rotating.

They turned seats multiple times in a row, "Married to the money introduced her to the stove"

Clementine felt nauseous at all the spinning, but Bjork continued "She my trap queen let her hit the bando, we be countin up watch how far them bands go, we just sellin' dope talking matching lambos" They stopped spinning. "These are your seats!" Clementine noticed she was only one to her left now. "This is a fun tradition that we have sung for many years, it lets us try new foods as well for you eat your neighbors food!" She laughs but stops suddenly.

"Did anyone hear that?" Clementine asked. Bjork looked surprised, Clementine no longer had her powers, and it was odd she still had keen senses.

"Yes… it seems to be a tap at the window. I will investigate… please, all sit, eat, enjoy, sing, dance, cry, laugh, live? Love."

"Live, laugh, love." Emilie put up a peace sign and did a duck face.

"What the hell was that?" Rebecca shouted.

"It is the song. The song of of my people." She whispered icelandically. "Do not disrespect it." Bjork's eyes turned red. But suddenly, the hairs on the back of her neck stood up, and goosebumps traveled.

Something deep in the mountains outside of House #12 on the island of Iceland awoke. Bjork felt its breath, no matter how many miles it was away. From that distance, Bjork felt every step it took. They were coming.. Bjork's eyes shot to one side of the shack and then another.

"They're coming." Bjork said.

"Who's coming?" Clementine inquired, Bjork didn't lock eyes with anyone, she was immediately shuffling through her things.

"The 15 Yule Lads…" She turned around and was holding many planks of wood. No one knew why Bjork stored them there, until now. "Now, usually they do not come... but there is a strong energy here. Luckily we have these planks, now please, board up the windows with me."


	2. Act II

"I didn't sign up for this!" Sarah sighed, even though this was of no help to any of them. Bjork dashed across the room to her giant dresser. She spared no time, and pulled out a series of chains and locks. She started handing them to Rebecca and Iggy.

Rebecca ran off to help shield the house, but Iggy stood to protest. "We need our powers back! We have to be prepared to fight these… Yule Lads or whatever."

Bjork was trying to keep things moving, "The Yule Lads are ancient entities… fighting them will be no task for any of you."

"Hey Bjorkie? There's no toilet paper anymore, next time you get tampons-" Bjork's dad emerged from a doorway. "What are you guys doing boarding up the house?" His face grew red suddenly. He was fuming with anger, "what are you doing eating the food without me!" He looked at the table with pure disgust.

"The Yule Lads are here… worst of all.. Gryla." The room stood still, perhaps coincidentally.

Guomund put his hands over his mouth.

"God help us…" He whispered. "Bjorkie...they've been here already."

Bjork jumped, and she looked around the room. There was something now that she did not notice before.

"The spoons. We have no spoons." She screamed into the dining room. "Eeeeeeeek!" She made her famous dolphin voice. With yet another twirl of her hand, the table and all the chairs went flying, and sent everybody flying everywhere with their food. "This can't be happening!" All the scattered furniture found themselves up against the various windows and doors around them "They won't get in. Not this time."

Bjork extended her hands and an epic fire emerged from it. She trailed her hands along the furniture barricading the windows, and the searing heat from her hands fused everything together.

All eyes and eye were on Bjork, she was turning this house into alcatraz.

Guests began to emerge from the mess that was now the dining room, they were all disoriented and shaken.

"Bjork! Please! Let us help!" Clementine said.

"Absolutely not. They're almost here." Bjork replied. She began to shake. "I can smell them…"

"If they're that close, then we have a shot by working together." Iggy stood up from the rubble in the room and stepped next to Clementine.

"No. They're here…" Bjork whispered.

It began with a slight scratch at the window, and it sent everybody into a complete panic. Bob the minion was knocking things over, trying to find something to hide behind or under. Trixie accidentally ran into Kim, which resulted in Trixie getting a black eye.

"Get off of me you fat rabbit!" Kim tried to swing again. "I may not have my powers, but I pack a mean knuckle sandwich! And I think you're about to try it...maybe with a little mustard then?"

"I don't think you're ready for what I've got bitch!" Said Trixie in her accent. "Us Jersey girls know how to fight! Don't hit your head on the way back down to the valley hoe."

"Ugh!" Kim said.

The scratches at the window got louder while everyone was running around. It was complete chaos, Clementine had never seen anything like it. Sarah was in the corner having her usual meltdown, as if they were scheduled.

Cathy just sat on the side of the room, laughing at the situation.

That was until every window and door in house #12 exploded, each with one of the Yule Lads behind every door and window.

"Everybody stand UP!" Bjork said to everyone. She mouthed a spell, and with a single breath Emilie's hair turned red again, Rebecca was pregnant once more, and Clementine felt like a wolf again.

Gryla stepped forward, and each of the lads trailed behind her.

"What are you doing in my home?" Bjork screamed in Icelandic. Bjork's eyes were pitch black, as if she was a demon.

"It's time for my feast… there's so much power in this house… I just can't stay away."

Gryla opened her mouth.

It was terrible.

As if someone in an airplane broke the window mid flight.

And everyone in the room was being pulled towards her as she sucked harder and harder.

The room's gravity might as well of flipped, everyone was hanging onto the wall framing or the incredibly sturdy table. The rest of the objects in the room launched towards the northern window, alongside Emilie and Rebecca. Emilie shot her hair out like a net, trying to catch Rebecca who was falling below her. Gryla held up to her reputation of stealing children, but none of the foreigners knew that. Emilie's strands broke, and despite Rebecca trying to hold on to something with her bulky arms, they both fell into the abyss of Gryla's stomach. Gryla quickly closed her mouth, satisfied. She made a loud screeching noise, only to be cut by Bjorks angelic voice.

"After them!" Bjork commanded, she had put a lot of points into the leadership skill tree. Sarah morphed into the hulk, Clementine brought out her claws, Iggy howled her goat like yodle, Kim readied her pip-boy, and Cathy started installing Mcafee. Gryla began to run, but not before deploying her set of twins. She pulled them out of her sack, for what they lacked in height they made up for in meat themed attacks. The Sausage Swiper, and The Meat Hooker. With a meat hook of pure mithril, he swiped at Clementine, who promptly dodged by smelling the meat-blood. The Sausage Swiper on the other hand had a much more ranged approach. He used his lasso of sausages, to reach for Emilie, but was stopped midair by her hair-tentacles(hairtacles).

The boys jumped back, and stood back to back. "You will not defeat THE MEAT TWINS!"

* * *

It had been an hour. Rebecca and Emilie couldn't see a thing. They were touching at the the shoulder, there wasn't much room in Gryla's stomach-pouch thing. Gryla was still walking they presumed, they felt the rumbling. How far she took them, is what worried them. They did not know Iceland well, and did not want to get lost in the vast neighborhood complex.

"I can't believe this is happening again." Rebecca said.

"Wait. Again? Emilie said.

"Long story. Longer than this one. I don't wanna talk about it."

"Okay...well...I think I can get us out of here, but I'm worried I might crush you" Emilie looked at the wall, assuming Rebecca was standing there. It was dark, so neither knew of the blunder.

"We can't let them harm our friends! The longer we wait the worse this gets!" Rebecca was very insistent, she had known them much longer than Emily anyways.

"Alright, just stay close to me." Emilie tried to get closer, and began the process. She expanded her hair around all edges of their cocoon. She pushed and pushed, and suddenly, Gryla vomited.

"I should've killed you first.. But I just love spicy foods!" Gryla was quickly regaining her strength, so the duo made a run for it. The snow in Iceland was overcoming them, it reached their shin bones at least. They felt Gryla behind them, but they managed to out trudge her somehow.

"I can hardly see 5 feet ahead of me!" Rebecca cried out, she was beginning to lose Emilie. "Stay close to me!" She sped up slightly.

"This is worse than the pouch, I think I'm whiting out!" Emilie tried to warm her face, but was unable to. Her hands were wayyy colder than her face.

"Are you girls lost?" Said a man's voice. The two looked around hesitantly, only to be surprised with a particular snowman.

"Frosty the snowman? Is that you?" Rebecca said.

"You've got that right!" He said. "I see you girls seem to be in a bit of distress. I was just wandering around looking for my wife, Mariah Carey, and I came across you two. What seems to be the p-" Frosty the snowman was cut off when he saw Gryla jump out of the white out conditions, and he tumbled to the ground with her on top of him.

"Oh my word! It's Gryla! Don't let her touch my hat!" Frosty yelled. Rebecca got on top of Gryla who was on top of Frosty, and Frosty moaned in pain at the crushing force on his body.

Rebecca upped her big, meaty arms, and swung at Gryla. She heard a crack, and Gryla cried out as she rolled off of Frosty. She limped off into the blizzard, away from the two girls and (snow)man sat there, nearly exasperated.

Frosty was the first one to break the impending silence.

"What on Earth did you girls do to piss her off?" He said, adjusting the pipe in his coal mouth.

"All we did was visit Bjork, down at house #12."

"Bjork huh? She's quite famous around these parts, I hear. You guys are a ways from house #12 now, that house would be on the other side of this mountain." Frosty pondered.

"We have to cross a mountain to get back to our friends?" Emilie said.

"I'm afraid so. Maybe on the way we can find my Wife, but with Gryla out there, it's best that we stay together."

"Well. What are we waiting for? We should probably get going." Rebecca said.

* * *

Clementine was a full wolf now, she had always had a special liking to protein, her carnivorous side was coming out. She ripped through a sausage link in his chain, but the chain was long indeed. Cathy was soaring above, in her giant mechanical suit. She launched several doxxings at The Sausage Stealer, but he was one of the more agile of The Yule Lads. Sarah was an especially useful tank, she blocked 60% of their attacks due to her sheer size. Kim cocked her pip-boy-infused fist and took a giant punch on The Meat Hooker. He was KO'd instantly.

The Sausage Stealer struck Clementine, but she took another bite, and began devouring the entire line. He retracted his sausage-line quickly, and without skipping a beat he returned attack. This time he used those hot-dogs to wrap around Clementines neck. A yodel was heard from behind her, and suddenly Iggy did a really cool jump in the air above the two. Iggy Slammed down on the sausage line with her hammer-like-hooves. From there it snapped out The Sausage Stealer's hands, and was immediately ruined with dirt. Sarah bonked ol' sausage on the head, and the group felt pleased with their work.

"Why did you help me?" Clementine asked hoarsely, she was gripping her throat. It still felt overcooked.

"We have a common enemy, nothing has changed." Iggy turned around and

walked away. Clementine could feel the tsundre leaking from her soul.

"C'mon we need to go after Emilie and Rebecca!" Kim shouted. Bjork calmly approached the group, who stood by the slightly destroyed house.

"Be careful, there are a few ways to go about this." She hovered towards the center of the group. "The 15 Yule Lads can be rid of 2 standard ways. The first one, I recommend; Kill all 15 of them.. The second one, is to wait until sunrise and they will all disappear." She looked at Clementine when she continued to speak. "But all actions are irreversible, and so the death of your friends is very much permanent" The tension was broke with her smile, "Go get em' team!"

The group was disheartened, but still split up accordingly. Clementine, Sarah, Trixie, Bjork and Kim, Iggy, Bob, Cathy. Bjork's parents decided to stay at home and recook dinner, in hopes they lived.

"Can I stay and help?" Pepe pouted. "I don't like the cold."

Guomund put a hand on (a considerably shrunken) Pepe. "Sure kiddo."

And so the gang spread out in search of the girls, hoping to make it in time for second supper.

* * *

Emilie's calves were on fire as they traversed the mountains of Iceland.

"How much longer is it?" Emilie asked, and Frosty chuckled.

"Longer than your calves can handle, sweetie. We just have to watch out for the Icelandic wilderness."

"What can be worse than what we've already seen?" Emilie questioned. She pictured everything that she had seen since joining up with Clem

"Give it some time. Iceland is a very special place." Frosty said, tipping his silk cap.

"So, what's your wife like?" Rebecca said. Frosty smiled thinking of the love of his life.

"Her name is Mariah Carey, and boy is she swell. She's got a voice on her, and her Christmas spirit just hits my sweet spot so nice! She's a very strong lady too, someone who can take care of herself. That's why I think she's somewhere out here. Gryla dragged her off to some cave out here in the mountains, and I haven't found it yet. We were sitting at the dinner table one night a few days ago, and Gryla swept in house #8 and took her from me! She always comes during the holiday season, it's quite terrifying." Frosty explained.

"So, Mariah was a victim of Gryla as well, except no one has found her yet." Rebecca recited.

"Exactly. I just want to find her and take her back home where it's safe. A lot of people die up here in Iceland, or they have to be rescued by many rescue teams." He continued. "But first, I'll help you guys regroup."  
Through the veil of the white out blizzard, they heard a crunch in the snow. Footsteps different from all the others.

"Uhoh...what is that?" Emilie cried. Another surprise was on its way. There was a faint moan off in the distance, and it added to the goosebumps that were already on Emilie's neck.

"This is gonna be a problem. It sounds like The Snowmen." Frosty said.

"The Snowmen?"

That was when the first one emerged from the conditions. It swept a twig arm at Emilie and Rebecca, who thankfully missed.

"Oh, what the hell?" Emilie shouted. "Not on my watch!" Emilie's hair was able to take the form of blades, and her hair extened all the way out to one of The Snowmen. Her strong split ends were able to slice up one of the Snowmen and it revealed that under all that snow was a walker. Every walker around them was decorated with snowman accessories, a red scarf, black hat, coal smile. The whole sha-bang.

"We should probably get going." Frosty said, quickening his pace. "Once those things catch up to you, it's all over." With the pickup of his pace, the girls moved along behind him.

They moved forward through the awful blizzard, the wind nipping at their faces the entire time. That did not stop their determination, however. Not once did they cower to the storm.

"Hey, I think the blizzard's letting up!" Emilie shouted. Around them, they were able to see more and more of the mountain. Everything around them was coated with a layer of fresh snow, and the hills of snow went on for miles (and kilometers.) But, as the blizzard began to clear, a new threat emerged.

Right before them, there were dozens of Snowmen creeping their way towards the three of them.

* * *

Clementine and Sarah stayed closer to each other now that they were both stuck with Trixie and Bjork. One was a savage that tried to kill them, and the other was pretty much a stranger to them. They were in uncharted waters, especially with the likes of Gryla and the Yule Lads running around.

"Does this stuff happen a lot?" Sarah asked Bjork.

Clementine nudged Sarah,

" _Don't talk to her, we aren't with anyone else and we barely know her!"_ Clementine whispered.

"You should not remain shy with me, I am a friend. Truly." Bjork winked at Clementine, and then addressed Sarah. "This happens around this time every year. It has truly become a fight for survival here every Christmas, but we do it because we have the drive to fight. To protect our families, and protect Iceland."

A blizzard was beginning to set in, and they were having trouble tracking Gryla's possible trails.

"I know the other group went off to chase another trail, but how do we know which one is the right one?" Trixie questioned, she was examining the footprints that were in the snow in front of them, and they went for a while.

"We'll know if or when we see Gryla, and hopefully end this horrible horrible night." Bjork responded, she slid onward in the snow, she was levitating above it and was not using her feet to walk at all. Trixie was silent, she blended in with the snow surprisingly well. Clementine stayed right behind Sarah, but the snow was now reaching her knees.

"I peep something… tastey" A deep voice said out of nowhere. The group quickly halted in place, they couldn't see very far and were struck with fear.

The white blizzard continued, "I'm ready to warm these piggies up…" another, younger voice cackled. Suddenly the white haze dissipated, and the four realized they were surrounded. 3 Yule Lads surrounded them, wearing their traditional radish and beet colored clothes. The Yule Lad with the largest nose took a deep breathe. The snow around him was being sucked up into his large nostrils.

"I am The Door Sniffer, and you my pretties, smell incredible." They could feel a strong gravitational pull towards him, but they clung to the ground and held on.

Bjork raised her hand and shot out a burst of energy, "Whoever smelt it, DEALT IT!", instantly vaporizing the Yule Lad. The other two lads spared no time, instantly dealing attacks.

"He was the weaker brother, you will not survive The Candle Stealer and The Window Peeper!" The duo charged forward, dealing a combined force of fire and peeping power.


	3. Act III

Kim, Iggy, Bob, and Cathy were making their way through another mountain on the island of Iceland. There seemed to be more mountains on this island than houses, or even roads, which was quite alarming.

"At least there won't be many walkers…" Cathy said.

"That's right love, just you, me, and the cold. What do you say, wanna keep each other warm?" The british sounding minion Bob said.

"Don't you have a girlfriend?" Iggy, the minion queen questioned. Bob's eyes widened, and is monocle fell off.

"Things...are complicated." Bob said.

This "Girlfriend" of course, was none other than the famous Emilie Autumn. They had a one night stand in the Minion Cocoon in the middle of the forest that one fateful night, where the group met the minions in one of the most epic battles in the history of literature.

"I guess I could be obliged to that…" Cathy winked. "Maybe another time."

It was a long time before anyone talked again, for the others could not stop cringing at the budding romance between Cathy and Bob. They traversed mountains, valleys, robbed house #11, and did so many other things. But, there was no sign of anyone.

"We need a good vantage point." Bob said, his hand on his chin. "I've been thinking of this plan for a couple hours now, and if we go to the top of that mountain, we have a chance of getting a bird's eye view of the land around us. With that, we may be able to get an idea of where Rebecca and my love Emilie are." Bob pointed off to a mountain, and luckily it wasn't too high.

"No, that wouldn't work. Even if the mountain isn't that high it'll take forever to get to the top! We just can't do that." Iggy said.

"Do you suppose that there is any other option, you majesty?" Bob said.

It was time for Iggy to use her brain and get to thinking. She undid her Ariana Grande ponytail and redid it higher and tighter than ever before.

Iggy sat in criss-cross applesauce, and began to omm. She sat there for twenty minutes meditating, her focus unbroken.

"Um, Iggy? Are you going to come up with a plan any time soon?" Kim said. "I could just fast travel us there with my pip-boy…"

Cathy raised her hand, "I can call my limo too… Iggy?." Iggy continued to omm, and suddenly lifted from the ground. Like the mighty goat, she began to float.

"She is telling us to grab on" Bob looked around at them. They all grabbed a part of her as she ascended above the clouds. Iggy's eyes glowed red, and they flew across the heavens. They reached the summit, and Iggy lowered them just below the peak. Her eyes returned to normal, but she looked very weak. The group wasn't very close with her, so they let her collapse. Bob tried to catch her but his tiny minion body was crushed instantly. Cathy looked to Kim, and started texting her.

Cathy: "U should carry them, Im getting tired. Can u believe we get service up here?"

Seen at 10:28 PM

Kim: "I got a manicure on the way up #no and #no I cnt believe it"

Seen at 10:28 PM

Cathy: "I drove u here, I can NOT drive you back"

Seen at 10:29 PM

Kim: "We hav plenty of ways 2 fly hunty, #please"

Seen at 10:30 PM

Kim: "Cathy plz, we need to get up the mountain"

Seen at 10:36 PM

Kim: "Cathy"

Seen at 10:38 PM

Kim swiped Cathy's phone out of her hand, "Carry the fucking bodies or become one." Cathy was of course offended, but also impressed and turned on again. She lifted up the bodies, and the duo trudged up the hill. The air was much thinner up here, it made Cathy's labor much more painstaking. "Well thanks to ol' Igg' we avoided 98% of the hike! Good job #teamC!" Kim chanted as they climbed the final rock up the ledge.

"Uh, Kimberly…" Cathy breathed heavily, "Did we do any research on this mountain…" Kim brought up her pipboy interface, as they stood atop the mountain with a giant hole in the center.

"It's called Eyjafjallaajökull… it's a VOLCANO! OH NO!" Kim looked around terrified, she had no time to fast travel!

Cathy dropped the bodies, and pulled out her phone.

Cathy: "u r so fuckin dead kiddo"

Seen at 10:47

Cathy: "If u hadnt made us stop for selfies we wouldve been up the mountain quicker."

Seen at 10:47

Kim: "Um my fault? UR boyfriend was the one who said 2 go up the mountain"

Seen at 10:47

Kim: "and you know you look good in that sweater so #DONOTGOTHERE!"

Seen at 10:47

Cathy: "Do NOT call him my boyfriend, I shouldve broke ur phone when I had the chance"

Seen at 10:48

Kim: "I will push you in2 this volcano"

Seen at 10:48

Cathy: "I hope it erupts and kills us both, hoe"

Seen at 10:49

Kim: "ur so selfish! This is why ur not at our Wednesday Picnics!"

Seen at 10: 50

Cathy looked up at Kim, crying. They had only been in Wellington for so long, but she hated to be excluded. Her sad face quickly turned to hate, and she snatched Kim's phone out of her hands. "Throw my phone on the ground? Throw your phone into the volcano!" Cathy reached her arm out and dangled it over the vast cavern.

#Kim narrowed her eyes. "You. Wouldn't. Dare." They locked eyes in what felt like eternity, but really was 4 seconds. The ground below them began to rumble. "Excuse me"

"That wasn't you…" Cathy looked around hesitantly. The ground below them gave, and a giant rush of magma erupted from the volcano. Cathy had installed the newest Java so she had quick enough reflexes to run. The snow slid and like a river, it washed the team down down down the mountain.

* * *

Rebecca took off first. Then Emilie. Then Frosty. Then the snowmen. The blizzard was just about completely let up, but the fresh snow was still impeding them.

"Don't look behind you! Just run!" Rebecca said. But of course, Emilie looked behind her.

Oh the horror.

The snowmen were not even completely white. They had spots of red all over them.

"Oh dear…" Emilie whispered to herself britishly. "They're profound!"

They ran for a couple minutes, and eventually gained some ground on the painfully slow snowmen walkers behind them. They regrouped under a tree, panting for air, even though it hurt their faces and throats.

"Have we outrun them?" Frosty said. He was sweating, but did not seem to melt.

"I think we're safe..for now." Rebecca said. She rubbed her pregnant stomach. "There won't be any cold teeth touching me tonight!"

Frosty sighed.

"Wait, I don't think we're out of the woods yet!" Rebecca said. The others looked to where Rebecca was. There was one snowman who was outrunning the others. By a lot.

"What is that?" Emilie cried. They had just seconds to rest before they picked up pace again, but it was no use. Their chests felt as if they were going to explode, and the fast snowman was still catching up. They all eventually slowed from exhaustion in complete desperation, wondering of what was to come.

The red snowman grabbed frosty by his snow arm, the little twig that was this snowman's arm pierced Frosty, and he cried out in pain as snow fell from his arm.

"Frosty!" Rebecca cried. She came to him, and pushed the red snowman away from him. "Get away from Frosty! You'll have to go through me to get to him!" She flexed her biceps, and the snowman stopped. And took off his snow mask.

"Olaf?" Frosty the snowman said. "I thought you were going to kill me!"

"Sorry Frosty. I had to blend in, or else they'd notice and come after me. What happened to you after we got separated?"

"Wait, you were with someone else?" Rebecca shot an accusatory look to Frosty. "Why didn't you tell us?"

"I didn't think he even made it. Things happened so fast, then I couldn't find Mariah. I thought of the worst." Frosty hugged Olaf, who reciprocated. "I never stopped looking. Not really."

"What is going on here?" Rebecca interjected. Olaf and Frosty looked at each other.

"Years ago, we were lovers."

Then was when the avalanche hit.

* * *

Clem just finished tying her shoes, the battle was incredibly easy. She had trusted Bjork and Sarah to take care of the final Yule Lad, since she had already mauled The Candle Stealer.

"Mercy! Mercy!" The Window Peeper shriveled into a ball. Bjork lifted the small man up by his hat.

"Where did you take our friends?" She booped him on the nose, which was all Yule Lad's greatest weakness.

"I-I don't know! Gryla Had just told The Bowl Licker, The Pot Licker, The Spoon Licker, and The Bowl Stealer to split up among Iceland- believe me! We know nothing!" He shook vigorously, I guess for being such a peeper, he didn't have very big balls. *ba dum tsss*

"Do bowls not taste good or something?" Sarah inquired, she thought it was odd there were so many Yule Lads interested in licking kitchenware.

"Oh please, he steals them and does much more than lick them" he sighed. Trixie made a weird growl. The group all turned towards her. The growling deepened, but they realized too late it was not Trixie growling. The earth below them was shaking, and a giant mountain of snow was barreling right towards them.

* * *

All three groups were swept into the same cave deep under the mountain, completely coincidentally.

"Ow…" Clementine said. She saw a red tomato head sticking out of the snow. "Emilie?"

The red head moved up. "Clem?" Emilie said.

Clem looked around the cave that they were stuck in. Everyone was there. And a few extra people. Two snowmen, and a frozen body.

"Wh-who is that?" Clementine pointed to the body sticking out of the snow. She moved, and limped to the corpse. Clem and Emilie slowly dug the snow away, anxious to see which one of their own had met their end.

But, when they unearthed the person, it was no one they recognized.

"You're right. Who _is_ this?" Emilie pondered. That was when Frosty pushed past and saw who was under the snow.

"Mariah?" He shouted. The body was Frosty The Snowman's wife. Mariah Carey. "Oh my word...my wife...my beautiful wife." She was a walker. Her body was frozen, and she was biting at everyone around her.

"Oh no...Frosty…" Rebecca said. She was getting whiplash from the twists in Frosty's life, and she was caught right up in the middle of it, yet in another fucked up love triangle. Or square. Or quadrilateral.

"But where does Olaf fall into all of this?"

"Him and I were lovers a long time ago. Iceland is really small, and it's kind of hard to not run into the same person twice. And we did. Multiple times during my marriage." Rebecca sighed, and the tension, the drama, the infidelity between the three of them felt almost real. "But my wife…oh please…"

"Frosty... I am so sorry. I remember when I lost my husband in all this too, It still feels as if it were yesterday...but it's been months since Alvin died."

"I just don't want to be alone again. I can't. I just won't make it." Frosty choked out in sobs.

"Maybe...maybe you don't have to be. I felt alone for a while too, but I found friends, people to care about. My unborn child. And for you? You have us. And especially me."

Rebecca extended her arms to Frosty, who fell into them. They fell into a tight embrace, the threads of their attraction between them intertwined together at the molecular level. Frosty, for the first time in a while, felt warm.

"What the hell is going on?" Olaf said. "You said if you were ever single again, you'd call me! You're a scumbag!"

Rebecca hushed Olaf by taking out his carrot nose and breaking it in half. She put one half of the carrot back into Olaf's face, the other her mouth. "Hush, little one. We are lovers now. It's out with the old, and in with the new. And younger. And prettier." Rebecca flipped her afro, and fell back into an embrace with Frosty.

Clementine stood in front of them all, mouth agape. They weren't separated for too long, how did they go through all the stages and devices of a romcom in three hours?

Some things are better left unknown…

Other heads began to pop up out of the snow. And in time, they were all fully conscious and reunited. And it felt good.

"How did you get away from Gryla?" Iggy questioned.

"It wasn't easy, and we had a few close calls there. We definitely wouldn't be here without Frosty, he really saved our asses there a few times." Emilie said, recalling their three hours of absolute terror. They all sat around Emilie, Rebecca, Frosty, and Olaf as they recounted their story of survival.

"And that's what you missed on glee." Emilie finished the story, and included everything from the fight with Gryla to the snowmen they had to outrun. "Well since we are all here, I suppose we can go back to Bjork's house and finish dinner."

"Doesn't that seem a little... too easy?" Clementine inquired, the darkness of the cave gave a quiet hisss.

"Honey, that's my middle name" Bob said.

 _Click click click click._ A noise echoed again, but not from the cave. The gang turned their head to the pile of snow to their right. Snowbies erupted from the soft pile, the zombie snowmen looking recharged from their metamorphosis with the ice.

"Run kiddies! Snowbies are back!" Bjork grabbed the weakest of the group, Iggy and Sarah, and fled. _Click click click._ The group of 12 (including Dead Mariah) avoided the snowbies and had managed to not stray from God's light. They pushed deeper into the cave, but only slightly to keep their visibility up.

Clementine felt a drop of water cool her left hand. Then another on her shoulder. "Hey guys, I think the cave is leaking." They turned to her, as she gazed upwards into the face of evil. It was cocoons, all hovering by a single string. She noticed, that they were all hatched, except four. They were translucent enough to make out some faces… they were Yule Lads. The sheep harasser, Sheep-Cote Clod. The milk stealer, Gully Gawk. The skyr eater, Skyr Gobbler. Finally, the door slammer, The Door Slammer. All 4 of Hell's minions draped over the crew, and luckily Clementine was quick to act. She pushed them all deeper into the cave, just as the cocoon cracked open and they all dropped to the floor. Now their cave entrance was blocked once again by more Yule Lads. Bjork quickly launched a beam of energy at the roof. The lads had no time to react, boulders upon boulders fell atop them. It was dark and silent.

 _BOOM!_

Then silence.

Then,

A low rumble shook the cave.

"What was that?" Sarah asked. Her voice echoed down the cave, bouncing off every wall. It was dark. And cold.

Björk conjured a torch for them, and led the group deeper into the depths of this mountain.

"That rumble, it was different. It's the last thing I forgot to tell you." Bjork said. "With the death of all 13 of the yule lads, the other progenitor arises. One of them is Gryla, the other her husband." Bjork pushed down the cave, even after it began to make a decline, going further underground. "I'm so sorry."


	4. Act IV: Finale

The tunnel they were in finally began to open up, and they didn't have to squeeze together just to get by anymore. They came to a red door, with a giant septum ring as the doorknob.

"I've seen these doors before. In the asylum." Emilie spat. "Where are we going?"

Bjork turned the doorknob. Inside was a living area.

The room was dark, as it had no windows, since they were hundreds of feet underground. But, the 12 of them had entered what looked like an actual home.

"Wait a second." Rebecca said. "Isn't this the house from the hit movie Matilda?" They had entered the house through a kitchen.

"Well I'll be damned." Cathy said. "It is! Look, there's even an autographed picture of Danny Devito in here!" She pointed to the counter in front of her, and there was a beautifully gold plated framed picture of Danny Devito during the days of filming the hit movie Matilda.

"Oh wow…" Rebecca cooed. "This is my favorite movie of all time! Yes, even more than Titanic."

Their thoughts are thrown off when they hear a yell from the living room.

"You're such a lazy bum! I've been out there all night after these people and you've just been sitting here watching that stupid television!" It was the voice of a woman. The voice of Gryla.

The 12 of them froze in their spots, trying to get the tea.

"What's the fuckin problem? I work all day at the car dealership, and no one from the 12 houses even buys any cars from me. I'm losin' money!" He said, but for some reason he had a real Brooklyn accent. "My bidness is gonna fail! And if we have no money then we have no Christmas for our 13 sons! Even if we steal from all those 12 houses!" He had now morphed into an Italian from Brooklyn and was throwing his hands around.

"Oh, what do I expect? You can't even load the dishwasher! You're such a lazy pig!" Her voice was getting increasingly more high pitched as her infuriation increased. "Why have you been comin home late, Leppaluoi?"

"Work's been keepin' me." Leppaluoi hissed, his hand reaching for the remote to change the channel on the television.

"Work? That's what you said last week! And the week before that! If you're workin' so much then why do we have no damn money? Explain that!"

"It's you with those damn credit cards! We can't keep up with it!" He shouted in a Boston Accent. "It's those damn dolls! You won't stop buying them, Gryla!"

Gryla let out a sharp gasp, "You said you were okay with it! So what if I collect human sized realistic dolls? We all got a hobby!" Gryla walked over to the television and yanked out the plug, shutting it off.

"Hey, Family Guy's gonna be on soon!" He shouted. "Put that back!" He sat up in his recliner, and put the footrest down. Instead of walking to the television, he walked off to a door connected in the living room. When he opened the door, the group peered past and saw dozens of realistic, human sized dolls sitting in there. They all had different clothes on, of assorting styles and even age.

"Oh my god…" Clementine choked a whisper in complete second-hand embarrassment. "I'm a little creeped out…"

"This is where the money's goin! For your addiction!" He screamed.

*cough cough* The gang shot their glares at Sarah, who was coughing up a fit. *cough COUGH COUGH guuuuh COUGHGHGHHHHHHHH* Luckily, Gryla and her husband didn't hear that and they didn't turn around.

She spit on the floor, and whispered, "Sorry, swallowed some air. Wrong pipe."

"WHo said that!?" Gryla turned her head, like a whip. "Are you hiding another one of your wHORES?!" Gryla stood up at that word, and frantically began searching the cabinets. The group, who was still in the kitchen, had to act fast.

"I said I wouldn't do it anymore! We saw the couples' therapist!" Leppaloui howled. Gryla, unphased started knocking cabinets over now, and smashing them with her foot. "The closest I've been with another person was when we bathed with Henry"

Gryla's eyes narrowed, "are you saying there's something wrong with Henry?" Her eyes then shot to Henry, the man-doll.

"Pleasee, you always make it about you. No, I was just sayin-" He rose his hands up when he talked, like a real italliano.

"Just saying that I make it about me? Is that how you apologize?" Gryla knocked Henry over, and stomped on his neck, popping it off. Foam. Everywhere.

This gave plenty of time for the group to split from the kitchen and hide in various spots around the apartment, there was very little room though. Clementine had to squeeze in with Trixie, Bob, Cathy, and Rebecca. They fit snuggly into the cabinet next to the stove. (of course only after they removed Gryla's collection of _Friends_ merchandise.) The rest of the group was dangling above the ceiling fan, slowly spinning. Physically and mentally. "Where is she Lep? I know you're hiding her in here." Gryla stormed into the kitchen, it was small, too small to hide a person. That's why all 12 of the group were hiding in that very one.

They thought they were safe, until she opened the cabinet.

"OH MY GOD! WHO ARE ALL THESE PEOPLE?" Gryla shrieked, everyone was terrified now that they were caught.

Everyone scrambled around the kitchen, trying to find a way out.

"Back door!" Bob screamed, his 11 other companions and Mariah Carey's body being held by Frosty and Olaf all ran out of the door with him.

"WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT?" Gryla said in a Sheila Broflovski voice.

The backyard had green grass, and torches on the walls on either side of them, since they were still underground. They looked up, and saw the moonlight above them.

"Is this a way out?" Emilie said. She stared up at the moon. It was full again. "Every time there's a full moon, something happens to us."

"I think it very will could be, everyone." Bjork said. "Everyone hold on!" Everyone along with dead Mariah grabbed onto Bjork, and the air started to spin beneath them, and soon they were lifted off the ground. "It very well could." She whispered.

They rose through the cave, and the opening to closer and closer.

"We're almost out!" Kim said.

"Didn't think we'd make it." Iggy said. "This almost seems too easy.." And looked down.

There was Gryla. Barreling towards them, her claws out.

"One of you are sleepin with my husband! And I'll kill every last one of you if it means the guilty one dies! I'm also going to eat you because it's Christmas!" She growled.

Gryla hit into Bjork's leg, causing her to drop everyone and fall. However, she did not stop flying.

"Bjork? What the fuck are you doing?" Rebecca screamed. "Come back here!" But, her pleading was no use. Bjork did not slow down. She in fact sped up.

"I'm going to get help! Stay put!" Her command echoed off the cave walls, and with that she was gone.

The 11 of them stood up, but Dead Mariah stayed down because she was dead.

"I'll kill and skin and eat every last one of you, and I'll start with the fattest one first." Gryla pointed her long, bony finger at Kim.

"Me? Fat? This is baby weight sweetie and if you keep talking like that I'm gonna have to beat your ass!"

"You're all talk. You're no match for me."

Kim launched forward, and threw her metal fist into the face of Gryla, and broke her nose instantly.

"REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE" Gryla curled up in a ball on the grass, and then stopped.

"Oh dear god, I'll call my limo. We're so totally fucked!" Cathy took a flare gun out of her boot and shot it up to the air. It propelled up beyond the cave, and into the sky. It exploded in a myriad of colors. One part of it was red, another green, then the third color was purple. "Help is on the way. We'll have to hold off until rescue arrives. Kinda like Left 4 Dead.

"Talk shit get hit!" Kim laughed, and then took a selfie with Gryla who was still on the ground.

Gryla took Kim by the ankle and threw her to the ground. She hit the floor in a jiggly crash. "Owwwie." She moaned.

Clem looked up to the full moon, and felt its power once more.

"You're gonna regret that…"

The rest of the group got into a battle stance, even Frosty and Olaf.

"You guys sure you can handle this?" Rebecca said, and looked at the snowmen. She looked especially at Frosty with a concerned look.

"Of course...I've had my share of epic battles." Frosty chuckled, his pipe letting out smoke from the bowl.

"Me too." Olaf replied, flexing his biceps. He didn't have twigs for arms anymore, but strong, hardwood, succulent branches. Rebecca bit her lip.

The backyard had a more extreme lighting situation, the full moon peaked through the roof's opening. Like mako island, it shone a ray of light powering Clementine to the brim with power. Frosty and Olaf threw down a lane of ice heading right towards Gryla, giving Clementine an opportunity to strike. She lunged, claws out, swiping at the exact moment the ice struck Gryla. A giant chunk of skin and blood was carved from Gryla's cheek, she shrieked a horrible high pitched noise.

Gryla grabbed Clementine, and stopped any chance of Clem falling back. Emilie shot her hair whip around Gryla's right arm. Rebecca charged forward, arms cocked. Gryla charged too, creating an almost atomic storm of dust when they collided. Trixie took a bite out of Gryla's back, coupled with Cathy's System Update Move ™. Kim stood back, moving items around in her pipboy. She felt insecure about her carry capacity since Gryla's comment. Sarah too stood back, she was weaker than the rest when she isn't angry.

"To your right Clem!" Iggy yodeled, she kicked Gryla to distract her, but her wolf claws barely broke the surface of Gryla's skin. Gryla laughed, it was hearty and deep, unlike her shrill voice. She twirled, rendering Iggy's attack useless. Bob was weak, like sarah, without his pack he was not the minion he could've been.

"Hey, if we get out of here alive, how about you and me and go for drinks? I hear wellington has a lot of pubs" Bob winked at Sarah. Kim quickly looked away from her pipboy and then at Bob.

"Didn't you have a thing with Emilie? ...and Cathy? ...and a little bit Clementine?" Kim inquired. She put him on the spot, and he froze.

"Um don't you have a battle to fight in?" Bob tried to brush her off, trying to save face in front of Sarah. Kim narrowed her eyes, and went into VATS mode. She punched Bob and knocked him out, it was a critical.

Kim looked at the fight, which was now much more intense than previously described. "I needed a good warm-up, take care Sarah" Kim charged forward full speed and joined the battle.

Olaf took his nose out, he didn't usually do so, but it was an important fight. For an important snow-person. "Emilie lift me up!" Olaf yelled, he was running towards Gryla once again. Emilie waved hair around, and made a red staircase of hair leading Olaf towards Gryla's face. Clementine was in full beast mode now, the light was reflecting on her brown fur, her eyes equally brown. The two were in a power struggle, one of pure physical strength. Olaf reached the top of Emilie's haircase (hair staircase) and leaped off, right onto Gryla's head. He stabbed Gryla's eye, blood spurting everywhere. Clementine overcame Gryla, as she was distracted and now half-blind. Gryla did not stop fighting. She was on the ground but started rolling around, she looked like a child. A bloody middle aged child. She managed to shake off Olaf, turning him more snow than man.

Iggy growled, and the attack stats of everyone went up. "This fight is ours. We're leaving!"

"Just what I needed." Kim smirked, and made a fist. Kim darted towards Gryla, who managed to dodge her. Gryla let out a hiss, and went for Kim. She didn't get to move as fast, though.

A claw dug into Kim's gut, and two implants fell from her chest. She fell backwards, and it felt like slow motion to everyone watching. She had tears falling from her eyes, and she peacefully landed on her back, and closed her eyes.

"Kim!" Rebecca shouted. "You hurt her! This won't stand!" She lunged towards the wretched woman, and threw her pregnant belly into her. Gryla moaned, it was like she was Giles Corey, and tons of stones were thrown on top of her (for the uncultured).

She leaned against the wall, weakened from the unrelenting blows that everyone was setting on her.

"No… not here…" She whispered.

Her eyes became white, and a bright light flooded the cave/backyard.

"You have all besieged me, hit me again and again, as there are too many of you. This will change that." Gryla chanted. The white light was blinding, and it sent everyone flying across the cave. They hit the wall. Hard.

"I can't breathe..." Trixie was winded, and her breath was shortened. "Oh, and I definitely can't move." She said. She curled up on the ground, and didn't move again.

Clementine looked around for another teammate, but everyone else was down except her, Cathy, and Frosty

Sarah sat up and propped up the frozen body of Dead Mariah next to her. They sat there at the side of the cave, Sarah shielding herself from the battle once more.

"Just the 3 of us huh…" Clementine sighed. They lost everybody quickly. Kim was down, no one was sure if she was dead or alive, Bjork had abandoned them, and everyone else was just knocked out by Gryla's attack.

Did they stand a chance when broken up?

Clementine grew more hair on her, and her wolf powers were getting stronger. She held her head, and looked toward the ground.

When an animal is backed into a corner, its true nature begins to show.

She looked up, her eyes red.

She had fangs. Sharper than ever before.

Cathy loaded up the McAfee Diamond Protection Plan.

Frosty...put a second silk hat on.

"You just made a huge mistake." Clementine said.

Cathy hit Clementine with a firewall spell, which would absorb most of the damage from the next attack.

"Activating virus cleanse." Cathy readied her laser as Clementine went for Gryla's throat.

"Why won't you die?" Clementine pleaded. She sunk her teeth into Gryla's throat and tore. Gryla fell again. But after a couple of seconds, she stood up.

"Back up everyone!" Frosty put both his hands together and charged an ice beam to hit Gryla.

"This'll freeze ya instantly!" The beam shot from his hands, and hit Gryla. She did freeze, but was unfrozen after seconds.

All she did was stand there in front of the three of them and smile.

"You're not gonna kill me. Not anymore." She smiled. "Not until I eat you guys…"

"Quarantining virus." Cathy commanded. She shot out a green beam, and it put a cell around Gryla. She put her hands on the green bars that constrained her. "That should keep her from us for now.

Frosty walked up to the cell and spat on her.

"Your husband...It's me. Him and I were lovers."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" She did not just scream it, she wailed it.

She began to twitch inside of the cage, and moved towards one of the edges. She punched the bars, and they shattered like glass.

Gryla jumped on top of Frosty, and clawed at his snow. It was all falling off like shaved ice, all over the beautiful green grass in Gryla's backyard.

Frosty was gurgling words by the middle of it.

"Oh god…what have I done?" He managed to spit out.

Then, Gryla took off both his hats. Then his head.

Clementine and looked away for the end of it, she just couldn't watch.

Gryla was pushed into a complete frenzy. She was crawling on the walls, upgraded from carving snow to carving the rock off the walls, and shards of rock were falling toward Clem and Cathy.

"At this rate...the cave is going to collapse on itself!" Cathy said.

Gryla's eyes went from a normal brown, to white, and now they were a solid black. There was no stopping her now. She stopped circling the cave and inhaled the body of Frosty the Snowman.

"The more I eat...the more powerful I become. And I'm just about to have a feast."

Just in the nick of time, Cathy's limo honked at the top of the cave. Help was here.

"Clem! Look! My limo's here! We just have to hold out for a little bit!" Cathy shouted. They both looked at each other and smiled.

But, Gryla was relentless. She started to move faster and faster around the cave again. The limo descended, with rocks and pieces of rocks bouncing off of it, and they began to load the unconscious bodies of their friends into the limo. Sarah helped put Dead Mariah in a seat as well, there was room for everyone.

"Just a few more people…" Clementine whispered as they hoisted Kim into the limo.

Gryla hissed, and jumped for Clementine she was able to get a hold of Clem, and mauled part of her. Claws dug into Clem's body, into her face, her head. She felt each scratch inching away her life.

"Once I eat you…" Gryla went up to Clementine's ear. "I'll be unstoppable." And she bit. She ripped a piece of Clementine from her, and chewed.

"Delicious."

"Clementine!"

A rock fell onto Cathy's head, and she fell too. Everyone was almost in the limo, they just had to get themselves in. They're so close…

But Clementine was pinned down completely. She couldn't move as Gryla took another piece from her. She couldn't move at all. Rocks were falling left and right, and now Cathy was no help.

The cave was about to collapse, and hope was dwindling away…

A bolt of lightning hit Gryla. She rolled over, lifeless.

Clementine looked up, and saw Bjork once more. She was wearing a red dress, pieces of the fabric suspended, spiraling around her.

She had one of those realistic dolls in her hands. It had black hair, blue eyes, and gold plating around it.

Gryla, once again, stood up.

"Is that...Is that the ultra rare Skater Boi Ken Doll from the 90s?"

Bjork smirked.

"Yes it is. And if you leave my friends alone, you may have it. This is the help I promised you all." Bjork threw the doll to Gryla, who caught it and crawled back into her home. Her husband jumped at the sound of her darting into the door, he had fallen asleep watching Family Guy.

Clementine limped into the limo, the world falling around her. She was crying, as her and Bjork lifted Cathy into the limo. She lied down in one of the seats, looking out the window. The cave completely fell in on itself, trapping Gryla and her husband forever. Bjork also dropped a nuke inside the caves before they crumbled. Clementine eventually passed out, focusing on the blood seeping from her wound after that terrible, terrible night.

* * *

THE NEXT MORNING

Clementine regained consciousness, the room lit by a warm fire. When she opened her eyes it seemed she was in a strange hotel room of some sort. It was cozy, and warm. She had only just realized how sore she felt, she shouldn't of used that much power at once. She got out of the bed, below awaited her a pair of pink slippers. Thinking nothing of it, she slipped them on and exited her cute room. She was in a hallway now, and to her surprise she was met with Bjork. "Clementine! You're awake!" Bjork hovered over to her, "I am glad you are well enough to walk, you slept for many days! Hahaha it's Dec 24th 20XX!"

Clementine's face dropped. She could not believe she slept for 364 days! Her heart sunk further, and even though Gryla is trapped- tomorrow she would be powered up to perhaps escape?!

"I kid, I kid, Clemmie you're so gullible. Come into the living room, just about everyone else is already awake." Bjork was wearing pajamas, it was the day after Christmas so these must've been just her casual clothes. They reached the end of the hallway, when Emilie opened the door.

"Hey sleepy head! You've been out for almost a year now!" Emilie smiled, and said that surprisingly casually.

"I already played that prank Emilie, you're late" Bjork continued walking, not breaking a stride (well, hover).

Emilie laughed, but truly she was broken, she wanted to tell that joke. They went right into the dining room, there sat Iggy, Rebecca, Kim, Sarah, Trixie, and Cathy. Bob was still recovering.

"How are you ladies feeling?" Rebecca rubbed her stomach, it seemed more inflated than usual. She had a sad look on her face, the striking look of fresh loss.

"I'm alright, I might've overdone it last night." Clem rubbed her back, a link was out of place. Cathy seemed completely unscathed as well as Rebecca, she was doing her nails on a chair in her own head. Clemmie sat down, right on the floor because she was a good dog.

"What are we going to do with Dead Mariah?" Sarah sighed, she was stroking Dead Mariah's hair on the couch.

Kim sat next to Sarah, on the other side of her, "Well…we were going to give her to Frosty…er, Dead Frosty…"

Rebecca interrupted her, "She's with him now… spiritually at least." She put her hands in her face. "I haven't felt like that with anyone since...since Alvin…" Bjork looked around hesitantly, clearly Bjork knew more about the afterlife than she was sharing.

Sarah got up and took Dead Mariah by the hand, and exited the room. No one really wanted to know what she was doing, whether she was burying it or who knows what. The silence in the room was instantly broken when Guomund and Pepe entered the room. Bjork's mom must've been sleeping.

"Well it's great you're all up! I just wanted to say goodbye before we left for our home." He smiled. Pepe sat down in an empty chair. Guomund shook hands with only Bjork, as it was an intimate gesture of goodwill Iceland. "I love your friends Bjork, they kept you safe!"

Clementine laughed, "It felt like it was the otherway around!" Everyone in the room erupted into laughter, although they all knew the joke wasn't really that funny. It was more of polite thing.

"If any of you ever wish to contact me, my beautiful wife and I live in house #11" He waved his hand in the air.

"Did you say...house number #11?" Cathy inquired. She slowly moved her hand towards her chest, casually covering her beaded necklace.

"Yes, we do. Some bastards came to our home last night and robbed it while we were here recooking dinner and when we got home, our house had been ransacked!" Guomund explained.

Cathy once again clutched the beaded necklace she _stole_ from house #11 that night.

"I hope to find whoever did this, I'd really like a word with them."

Cathy laughed nervously.

Then, Hildur walked in.

"Hello mother!" Bjork said.

Hildur smiled, and she waved to Bjork and then her husband. Then, her eyes fell onto Cathy.

"Is that...my necklace?" Hildur pointed to Cathy's necklace, and everyone in the room looked to Cathy's chest.

"Umm...no?" Cathy chuckled, and then dashed for the door. "We gotta go folks! Thanks for your hospitality these past two days!" Cathy ran out of the house and jumped into the limo as Guomund, Bjork, and Hildur all chased the group, trying to get Hildur's precious jewelry back. But, it was to no avail.

Cathy and the group had made off in Cathy's limo, shooting their way back to Wellington. " _Merry Christmas, Bjork"_ Clementine looked out the window, whispering. As Sarah chased behind everyone from the ground, holding Dead Mariah in her hands.

"Wait! Wait for me!" Sarah said, alone with Dead Mariah, with Bjork's family chasing not far behind.

The End.


End file.
